How To Prepare To Add A Sister Wife To Your Marriage

a couple on a date with a potential sister wife

If you're preparing to add a sister wife to your marriage, you are about to experience a life change as dramatic as having children. But, much like starting a family, expanding that family with a sister wife is immensely rewarding and worth the adjustment and difficulties that go with it.

In this guide, we'll discuss what you need to know and how to prepare for adding a sister wife to your marriage.

Communicate Well

Polygamy requires a great deal of communication for a relationship to be successful. To have reached the point of moving in together, you must already have pretty good communication or you would never have reached that point. But, adding a sister wife to your marriage requires total openness on everyone's part. Sometimes you will find that you need to discuss events and how each other feels even when everything is fine. If you do this early in the dating process, it creates an atmosphere of openness in your relationship and your sister wife will feel comfortable coming to you to discuss problems in the future.

Your Sister Wives Closet

It is so easy to get caught up in the new relationship energy of becoming a throuple that practical details can be overlooked. A new sister wife requires room for her things. She's not someone coming over to visit for a week, she's moving in. With that comes the need for her own closet space and drawers. Not just to have room for her clothes, but to feel like she is as much at home as the first wife.

Ideally, each sister wife should have the same amount of closet and drawer space. Even if she has fewer things, the equality of space will encourage the feeling of having an equal part of the relationship.

It can be a thoughtful gesture if both sister wives have drawers beside each other, and half of the same closet. That's not always practical, but small gestures early on can pay huge dividends in polygamy or any relationship.

New Routines

Unless the new sister wife is naturally submissive, and even then, it is likely to be difficult for her to adapt to your routine right away. And from your perspective, having another person in the house can throw off your schedule and what you are used to. Everyone should consciously try to be patient and understanding during this phase.

She's moving into a totally new house, maybe from thousands of miles away, and can't be expected to not need an adjustment period. She may love you and love living together in her new life, but it will take her time to get comfortable, productive, and develop her own rhythm.

Changes in Sleeping Arrangements

You've, no doubt, already made plans for where the new sister wife will sleep. If the sister wives will have separate bedrooms, preparation mainly consists of cleaning and trying to make her new bedroom as comfortable as possible. Likely, the first wife will know best how to make her feel most at home.

However, many modern-day polygamists prefer a plural marriage with one bed. If this is the case for you and your sister wives, you will want to start by purchasing a king-size bed if you do not already have one. If you can afford it, you will want to buy an Alaskan King size mattress, which is 9 feet wide. It is hard to overstate how much more comfortable you and your wives will be with enough room to stretch out without disturbing each other. Even if the sister wives are the type to sleep snuggled up with you, never having to worry about pushing someone off the edge in the middle of the night is great.

If this is your first polygamous relationship, you will quickly learn that sheets are a problem for a triad or throuple. Whoever sleeps in the middle almost has to disturb one of their spouses to get up in the middle of the night. A trick that polygamists use is to have two sets of sheets, overlapping in the middle. Now if the person in the middle needs to get up, they can just fold back where the sheets overlap.

New Sexual Dynamic

Whether you will be rotating nights or all sleeping in the same bed, sex in a polygamous relationship requires some adjustment.

If rotating nights, both sisterwives will need to be comfortable with this arrangement and have plenty of communication to avoid jealousy. The first wife will have to contend with the feelings of suddenly having to share her husband with a second wife for the first time. This can be quite problematic if she has not prepared herself very, very well. Then there is the issue of hearing what is going on in the other bedroom. For some women this may be a turn-on, but many sister wives will find that this is when the emotions suddenly hit them and they don't feel like they are in a position to say anything at that moment. Your wife needs to be prepared for that.

If your plural marriage will involve sharing one bed, the transition can be a bit easier because no one feels like it's the other person's night or that things are happening that they do not know about. Instead, there is the transition to feeling that it is your bed, together. And intimacy can be between the three of you as a triad or throuple.

In either case, it's not going to be monogamous sex anymore and everyone is going to have to be ready for the physical and emotional adjustments that will be needed in a plural marriage.


Life can suddenly seem to get a lot more busy when you step into a plural marriage and are still adjusting to your new life together.

Try to stay focused on your core motivations for living a polygamous lifestyle, and what your sister wife's motivations are. This is the best way to stay true to yourself during times of great change and it can help you all adapt to a life of plural marriage.

If you haven't found your sister wife yet, join to find women seeking polygamy.

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